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In my previous article titled, “Happiness – Love and Affection: Replaceable or Irreplaceable Need?,” we have seen that we do not have the irreplaceable need for the uninterrupted, permanent, and exclusive love, approval, and acceptance of anyone-and not even some degree of these elements-to live happily on this earth.
However, that doesn’t mean that we do not attach a more or less considerable importance to this very same love, approval, and acceptance.
First and foremost, it is clear that the affection and approval of strangers we meet for the first time in our lives will rarely be very useful for us. In other words, if these persons mentally disapprove of us and/or reject us, chances are we won’t be really losing anything-especially considering the fact that we have never received any affection from them before.
In summary, there is usually little inconvenience for us to displease crowds of people who only play a transitory role in our lives-unless we find ourselves in a situation where a judge we have never met before condemns us to 20 years in prison rather than two for the simple reason that he doesn’t like our smiley!
Therefore, to speak in front of a group of persons we’ve never met before will not seem very dangerous to us, more so if we have clearly in mind that the worst that can happen is that they all hate us! Similarly, if we are afraid to ask for information and/or to make requests to passers-by in a foreign city, our anxiety will certainly be caused by the ideas from which we assess as overly important the affection and approval of these strangers.
Things get a little more complicated when we run the risk of losing the affection and approval of the persons we know-friends, parents, children, romantic partner-and from whom we appreciate the quality of the affection and approval. It is clear that if we displease these persons, we have way more to lose than if we displease complete strangers.
However, let’s remind ourselves that the affection we receive from others is never disinterested, unmotivated, or unconditional. As a matter of fact, others like us for the simple reason that we please them or that-at the very least-we do not displease them too much.
Which brings us to ask ourselves the following question: Is the affection we actually receive from [fill in the blank] worth the “price” we pay for it?
Let’s face it: There is always a price to pay for everything in life… whether it be to obtain some carrots or the affection of our father, our mother, our children, our friends, our boss, our pets, or our romantic partner. Sometimes, the price is very affordable: Carrots are on sale and our father only asks for our smile in order to provide us with some affection. A real bargain!
Sometimes, however, retailers of carrots-and affection!-raise their prices! Not only are carrots sold at one dollar a piece, but our romantic partner consents to love and approve of us only if we make sure that all his/her things are in perfect order, all his/her meals are served on time, we are always submissive to him/her, and we tolerate with a big smile the presence of his/her lover! Another example: Our sister is willing to love us, provided we totally forget about the debt of $3,000 she owes us!
Now is your turn to do the math: Is the affection you actually receive from [fill in the blank] worth the price you pay for it?
Chantal Beaupre is an Emotional Mastery Coach, a Naturopath, an Independent Licensed LifeSuccess Consultant, and a business partner of Bob Proctor-as seen in “The Secret” movie. Her passion is to provide men and women who are ready to raise their level of happiness and improve the quality of their lives with practical tools, challenging ideas, resources, and helpful information through the power of the Internet.
Chantal’s newest eBook, “It’s The Thought That Counts!,” co-authored with Ali Brown, Ariane de Bonvoisin, Eva Gregory, Guy Finley, Jeanna Gabellini, Jim Donovan, Dr. Joe Rubino, Kathleen Gage, Mary Allen, and a host of other leading experts in the happiness arena can be downloaded for FREE on the Web.
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